Self-Expression, Pride, and Usain BoltThere are three reasons that I sing, play instruments, tell stories, write, speak, or joke with others. First, it feels good. Holding a high note during a gospel improvisation longer than my listeners think is possible, thus sparking their applause, brings me pleasure. Their affirmation and the experience of my own prowess makes me smile, shiver, feel a deep warmth.
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Second, I express myself artistically because a good part of my identity derives from others’ appreciation of what I can do; often I don’t feel valuable unless I get the main stage. Third, I perform because God gave me a particular set of brains (actually, just the one), vocal chords, and fingers so I can serve Him, extending the reach of His kingdom in the communities He’s placed me in. I feel like the servant in Jesus’ parable that got ten talents – I’d better invest them well.
Reasons One and Three are great. Reason Two shows that my relationship with Jesus is often loveless – at least from my side. I doubt my worth because I doubt God’s love. Henry Nouwen said this in Can You Drink the Cup?:
Lifting our lives to others happens every time we speak or act in ways that make our lives lives for others. When we are fully able to embrace our own lives, we discover that what we claim we also want to proclaim. A life well held is indeed a life for others. We stop wondering whether our life is better or worse than others and start seeing clearly that when we live our life for others we not only claim our individuality but also proclaim our unique place in the mosaic of the human family.
So that’s why I’m making this web site: I’m lifting my life with God so you can see Him, learn from His unique relationship with me. And we need to learn to know the part of God that only you can show us. So lift up your life for others to see – not willy nilly, but thoughtfully and prayerfully.
Seeing a photo of Usain Bolt doing his lightning bolt stance gave me an idea that is helping me avoid Reason Two. When someone gives me an affirmation, I do two things with it. First, I consciously try to experience that gift as a sign of God’s love, sending it to my heart. It’s impossible to accept too much of God’s love because He has more than we can imagine (see Eph 3:14-19).
Then I take that same affirmation and send it to God, because He is the one who created me and keeps my molecules from flying apart. When I respond this way, nothing goes to my head, feeding my pride. I’m trying.
So instead of the lightning bolt stance, I either physically, vocally, or mentally put one hand on my heart and point the other up to God.
Reasons One and Three are great. Reason Two shows that my relationship with Jesus is often loveless – at least from my side. I doubt my worth because I doubt God’s love. Henry Nouwen said this in Can You Drink the Cup?:
Lifting our lives to others happens every time we speak or act in ways that make our lives lives for others. When we are fully able to embrace our own lives, we discover that what we claim we also want to proclaim. A life well held is indeed a life for others. We stop wondering whether our life is better or worse than others and start seeing clearly that when we live our life for others we not only claim our individuality but also proclaim our unique place in the mosaic of the human family.
So that’s why I’m making this web site: I’m lifting my life with God so you can see Him, learn from His unique relationship with me. And we need to learn to know the part of God that only you can show us. So lift up your life for others to see – not willy nilly, but thoughtfully and prayerfully.
Seeing a photo of Usain Bolt doing his lightning bolt stance gave me an idea that is helping me avoid Reason Two. When someone gives me an affirmation, I do two things with it. First, I consciously try to experience that gift as a sign of God’s love, sending it to my heart. It’s impossible to accept too much of God’s love because He has more than we can imagine (see Eph 3:14-19).
Then I take that same affirmation and send it to God, because He is the one who created me and keeps my molecules from flying apart. When I respond this way, nothing goes to my head, feeding my pride. I’m trying.
So instead of the lightning bolt stance, I either physically, vocally, or mentally put one hand on my heart and point the other up to God.