I cried three times at Mindy and Wes's wedding.

When Mindy put her arm in mine, the doors to the sanctuary opened, Pachelbel's Canon commenced, and we saw a crowd of smiling affirmers, rejoicers, with official rows of men and women forming a wall at the end of the aisle. The wall of Wesley.

We walked peacefully, slowly, an unnaturally beautiful woman on my left. A few steps in and the world unhitched from the reality I knew, big gears opened in dizzying disconnection for a few moments before meshing teeth in a new configuration. My life roles just shifted, rearranged, repatterned. It felt momentous, but solid. Hefty. Stable.

Mindy and Wes looked up after exchanging vows and rings, turned their faces toward me at the piano. "You know Heaven when you see it."  Anything more than a glance at Mindy's rosing skin, welling eyes would not let me finish.

In high school, Mindy said she wanted me to sing "The way you look tonight" at her wedding. And there we were, dancing to a recording of a younger me:

     Some day, when I'm awfully low,
            when the world is cold
     I will feel a glow just thinking of you
            and the way you look tonight
 
Mindy focused her eyes on mine, with tears but no kleenex, and held me. She wouldn't let go of my eyes and thoughts raced through my mind and heart - is she finally receiving affirmation she's needed since a little girl? What is this eye-to-eye, body-to-body moment? Moved, shaken, confused, unsettled...incredible sense of gratitude that Mindy - Melinda, Melinda Meloo, extraordinary Mindy loves me.